


Pain

by AlexandraCasey (AliceSweeney)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Other, So much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 14:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8849338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceSweeney/pseuds/AlexandraCasey
Summary: When someone died, how do the heroes cope?





	1. Chapter 1

Marinette has no clue how she got herself into this position. Actually, she kind of knows how. She just isn’t quite sure how it escalated so quickly. She drags her hands through her hair and bites back a groan. She should have paid more attention, or something. Maybe she should have told him the truth...She lets herself briefly think back to an earlier conversation, 

_“Princess,” comes a relieved sigh._

_Marinette jumps and turns around to see Chat crossing her room quickly._

_She flushes and has the decency to look ashamed, “Chat-I am so sorry for earlier. I should have been paying more attention and maybe been quicker. I’m so sorry, Chat! I know, I’ve said it before, but I truly am!”_

_Chat gathers her in his arms and crushes her to his chest tightly._

_He kisses the top of her head and allows himself a few minutes to just hold her, “God, princess. You can’t do that! You have to stop endangering yourself, please.”_

_She flushes brightly, “I-I know, I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you getting hurt because of me and it just happened all so quickly.”_

_Chat cups her face and looks at her desperately, “I don’t care about what happens to me! I care about what happens to you! Do you even understand what would happen if something happened to you?”_

_He doesn’t give her a chance to respond, he only lowers his voice and looks at her scared and desperate, “Marinette, please don’t make me lose you too. I cannot lose you too, okay? I can’t handle that. You’re one of the few I have left. I don’t want to even imagine a world without you.”_

_Marinette freezes and reaches up and holds his face gently, “Oh, Chat, I-”_

_She doesn’t get to finish because her touch seems to waken him. He jumps away and seems to realize he’s said too much. He’s gone before she can tell him to stop. She stares where he was standing and for a moment she allows herself to think it was about her. For a moment she realizes that sounded scarily like a confess, but quickly shakes her head and shoves the thoughts out of her head. It’s never Marinette, always Ladybug. She’s just overreacting. She doesn’t see him much after that, as Marinette or Ladybug. He only seems to be around when necessary.. It’s about six weeks before he even shows up again to Marinette. It feels awfully close to what she’d imagine what a break up should feel like, not that she’d admit it._

Two weeks after he leaves she learns there are worse pains with Chat Noir.


	2. Fractures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguing on the rooftop

_Ladybug storms over to Chat Noir, “We need to talk, now. There are no Akuma’s so there is absolutely no reason for you to rush off.”_

_Chat Noir cringes and turns around, “What do you want, Ladybug?”_

_Ladybug glares, “My friend back! That’s what!”_

_Chat Noir raises an eyebrow, “I’m right here, aren’t I?”_

_She glares, “That’s not what I meant and you know it,”_

_She pauses and glares, “You haven’t been calling me, ‘my lady’ or ‘bugaboo.’ You haven’t in two weeks. You have been-”_

_Chat cuts her off and laughs. It isn’t an amused laugh, but an angry laugh. Had this been a few months ago he’d be jumping for joy and teasing her for not only noticing, but knowing exactly how much time has passed. But this isn’t months ago._

_He calms down and shakes his head, “How long did I spend flirting with you? Desperately vying for your attention. I just wanted you to give me a chance and you wouldn’t! Now you notice. For the first time, I am no longer in love with you and you finally seem to notice me. When it’s too late! The irony of it all! You were willing to let Marinette get hurt! You wouldn’t even check on her! She was severely injured and you wouldn’t even let me check on her either. She’s my friend and she could have been dead and I wouldn’t have known. She could have died, because of you! We’re not friends any longer. We’re teammates, coworkers, that’s about it. It’s not about you anymore. You don’t want your friend back. You want the boy that was a hopeless flirt and hopelessly in love with you. You want the attention back, not flirting. Well, it’s not you anymore. I’m in love with someone else now, my lady.”_

_Ladybug reaches for him, but he bows at her mockingly, “So sorry, but I need to go, bugaboo.”_

_He quickly stands up and she watches him leave frozen to her spot trying to ignore the sharp pain in her chest. She’s never heard him spit out her nicknames so angrily before. She was wrong, this feels like a real breakup. She still won’t admit it. Instead she replays the conversation in her head over and over. She doesn’t sleep much that night._


	3. Returning to his princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when all chances are missed?

She tried for weeks trying with Chat, but he was done with Ladybug and wouldn’t even come see Marinette. 

After 6 weeks Chat shows up on her balcony and she has never been so relieved. She quickly ushers him inside and he stands there awkwardly for a moment. He tries to say multiple different things, but only opens and closes his mouth. 

After a few minutes he sags in defeat, “I miss you, princess.” 

Marinette laughs in relief before she flies into his arms and hugs him tightly, “I miss you too. I’ve been worried sick about you. I...you left on bad terms here and...I’m sorry.” 

Chat nuzzles into her hair, “I’m so sorry, princess. I was...I’m just horrible.” 

She giggles in relief, “I’m just glad you came.” 

She sits him down and they sit in silence for a while, leaning against each other. After a while he turns to her and plays with her hair gently and watches her as she’s lost in thought. He isn’t sure what she’s been doing the last few weeks, he hasn’t even been paying attention to her in school. Adrian, has been avoiding her like the plague. More so than usual. Chat knows she’s lost and thinking about the last few weeks. She looks like she wants to tell him something, but shakes her head. He doesn’t try to force her to talk to him. He left her without a reason. Just like his mom left him without reason. He doesn’t deserve to know… 

Marinette grabs his hand gently, “Chat, it’s okay. You needed time to deal with your issues…” 

He shakes his head, “You have new things in your life and I don’t know because I got scared and ran away.” 

They wind up arguing for an hour over whether or not he should have taken time away from her. It’s an hour later when Chat is still sitting against her that he knows he’s screwed. He feels right at home and he is so happy with her. Marinette isn’t sure if she should tell him. 

Why would he care? 

He was gone for six weeks and she didn’t think he was coming back... She spaces out for a while and isn’t really aware of what they’re talking about but all of a sudden he is leaning in and so is she, but her mind is elsewhere. 

He swallows and murmurs, “Marinette,” 

He needs to know she wants this. Because he desperately wants this. He wants to kiss her, he wants her. This is the girl he loves with all of his heart. Marinette blushes and takes a breath and gives him confidence. 

For a brief moment he has a gut feeling that she likes him too, but the moment is shattered when she opens her mouth and murmurs, “Nathanael.” 

Chat’s body freezes and he’s pretty sure everyone can hear his heart break. 

Marinette freezes and pulls away, “Chat-I-” 

Chat swallows, “I-what? W-who is Nathanael?” 

He knows very well who it is. Marinette pauses trying to think of a way to fix this. 

How does she fix this? 

She can see him shutting down and she panics, “I-earlier, you were upset you didn’t know what was new in my life. The last few weeks I’ve befriended Nathanael? He’s...we’re just close now?” 

Chat offers a tight smile, “Ah, I-I remember him now. Evillustrator. I-I’m happy he’s there for you.” 

Marinette stiffens, “He isn’t evillustrator anymore. You should know that.” 

Chat slowly nods, “Of course, sorry. It’s just how I remember him. You guys have been...close?” 

Marinette nods, “Yeah, the last few weeks we’ve been close.” 

Chat tries to offer a charming smile, “I’m glad you have had someone there for you. You were hurt and alone. I-I’m sure it was a major trauma. I’m glad someone can help.” 

Marinette flinches, “Chat, I’m fine. I’m right here and I am fine, alright? This was not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for this.” 

Chat smiles, but doesn’t argue. He doesn’t want to upset her more than he already has. He was there when she was hurt and he didn’t move quick enough. Then he ignored her for 6 weeks. He has no right to be upset over her having other friends. He won’t forget any of it.


	4. Beginning of it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An akuma attack causes chaos

_Marinette had honestly been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had been running around the city trying find stuff for Alya’s birthday coming up. Usually Marinette knows what to do, but between school, being ladybug and dealing with Chat she hadn’t realized how close Alya’s birthday was. Now, it’s only days away and she really has to figure out what to do for her best friends birthday. She slowed down as she saw Rose and Juleka at the park. She hasn’t really spoken to her friends lately and she’s sure Rose would know what to do! Rose always enjoys helping her friends. Marinette cautiously crosses the street after being delayed. The streets of Paris are busier than usual. She doesn’t notice someone calling her name and the change in the air._

_She jogs over towards the park and towards the entrance is Nathanael sitting at bench, “Nathanael! Hello! How are you?”_

_Nathanael jumps and almost jumps off the bench, “M-marinette! W-what are you doing here?”_

_He quickly slams his sketchbook closed. He doesn’t need her to realize he’s drawing her again. The first time was embarrassing enough._

_Marinette giggles, “I’m only here to say hello. I need Rose’s help with something, but saw you and wanted to say hello.”_

_Nathanael blushes brightly, “Hello-I-I mean thank you!”_

_Marinette giggles, “Have you seen Rose? When I was across the street I saw her, but she isn’t over here.”_

_Nathanael points, “The exit. Her and Juleka went on a walk, we were hanging out, but I got distracted drawing. Usually if that happens they’ll wake away and go towards the other exit. They like that part of the park better. It’s quieter.”_

_Marinette smiles, “Thank you!”_

_She rushes off towards the other side of the park trying to get to them. She hears someone call her name, but Alya calls her phone at the same time. She’s sure whoever else is calling can wait. She juggles her phone out of her bag, but doesn’t get a chance to answer her phone call. Someone jostles into her and she drops her phone. When she looks up there’s a some people rushing out of the park and some others seemingly frozen. She whips around confused and can see Nathanael towards the entrance trying to get through towards her. She loses sight of him and can see Chat coming and he yells for her. She gets jostled back and she starts looking for somewhere to go to transform. If Chat came she knows there’s an akuma victim. She’s trying to find somewhere to transform and find an akuma, but doesn’t see anything that sticks out. She turns to run towards the entrance. She’d have to do this the long way. She doesn’t get far because she can hear Juleka scream for Rose. Marinette turns right back around and runs toward the yelling._


	5. Investigation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat asks some questions that he wasn't sure he wanted answers to

“Chat,” 

Marinette murmurs pulling him out of his thoughts, “Please, just talk to me.” 

Chat jumps up and pulls away, “I’m fine, really. You should sleep. I should be going.” 

Marinette grabs his arm, “Chat, will you please just talk to me? I just want to try to help you.” 

Chat pulls away and makes his way towards the balcony, “Marinette, there’s nothing to talk about. You need to rest. I’m fine, you’re obviously fine. Just, go to bed. I shouldn’t have showed up so late.” 

Marinette stops him again, “Will you stop this? Chat, it’s been six weeks. You can’t just show up for five minutes after being gone for six weeks! I even went to Ladybug and asked her to talk to you and tell you to come. You refused! Will you please just stay for a little longer and explain what is going on?” 

Chat flinches and turns around slowly, “Marinette-” 

She interrupts him, “You never call me Marinette. That was the warning signal when you came in. You started calling me Marinette. Now, will you tell me what’s really going on here? I know you, Chat. You wouldn’t just leave!” 

Chat stares at her. He isn’t sure what to do. He shouldn’t have come here. He got her hurt, it was his problem and he wasn’t fast enough. Part of him wants to make her hate him, but he can’t hurt her like that. She doesn’t deserve that. 

He shakes his head and laughs quietly, “Your name. You caught me because I used your actual name.” 

Marinette smiles sheepishly, “You always call me princess.” 

Chat smirks lightly, “I thought you weren’t a fan of the nickname.” 

Marinette blushes, “It grew on me.” 

She moves them to the bed and pulls him to sit with her, “Will you tell me what’s really wrong?” 

Chat groans, why does she have to know him so well? 

Chat shakes his head, “M-princess, it's nothing. It’s just stress. I just...I needed some time.” 

Marinette looks down, “Oh. Time, of course...six weeks is just...it’s a lot of time.” 

Chat sighs, “I know, I-I’m sorry. You are right. I-six weeks is a lot of time. Especially without explanation. Now, you said earlier...Nathanael has been here for you. Do you want to explain that?” 

He cringes at his accusatory tone before quickly saying, “I mean talk about it! I-I want to hear all about what’s new with you!” 

Marinette seems hesitant, but eventually starts to tell him about Nathanael. After a few minutes Chat lets himself zone out. He was wrong to ask her. The moment she started talking about him it felt as if his heart broke. She wore a big smile and she looked so happy. He’s pretty sure that’s how he looked when he used to talk about Ladybug. He knows it’s how he looks when he talks about Marinette. 

When did it get to this?


	6. Haunting memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat remembers the battle

_All Chat knows is Marinette is caught in the crowd of people trying to get away from an Akuma. He catches her attention for a moment and she starts towards him and he just has to reach her, but it’s difficult to get to her.He quickly looks and doesn’t see anyone else seriously injures and then his attention turns back towards where Marinette was. He panics, he only look away for a second and now he can’t find her. He can hear Nathanael yell her name and he follows where Nathanael is looking and watches Rose shove Juleka out of the way._

_What is Rose doing?_

_She’s going to get hurt. He sees Marinette rushing over to Rose. He launches himself over towards Rose, Marinette can’t get there first. She’d get hurt, he’s supposed to protect her. The Akuma notices him and blasts him out of the way. He doesn’t hear what they say to him. He was too focused on Marinette. She could have been anywhere in Paris and she had to come to this park today. He throws his arms up to cover his head as he slams into a tree and bounces off against the gate. He ignores his pain and immediately jumps up and looks over and quickly tries to get over to them. He can do this. He can get to her. Everything seems to speed up. Chat lands too far away just out of reach as the Akuma shoots something that looks like a bright light at Rose. Marinette lunges and collides into Rose shoving Rose into Julenka’s arms and the light hits Marinette. The world seems to stop for a minute. Marinette was close to the hit only a few feet ahead and gets thrown far across the exit and across the wide street. She lands in what looks like a dark alley, but Chat can’t see for sure if that’s where she is. He can't hear anything of the brakes of cars on the road. In the background he can vaguely hear Rose, Julenka and Nathanael screaming for her. He can hear laughter and he thinks he hears someone crying. He doesn’t get a chance to even fully process before there is an elbow to his cheekbone and he stumbles back in surprise as the Akuma flips over him. He quickly turns around and barely lunges out of the way of a blast. He extends his staff quickly and spins it before rushing forward and attempting to strike the Akuma with it. The Akuma has it’s own, but was expecting Chat’s move. His strike against Chat lands on his wrist sharply and causes Chat to drop the staff, in pain. He feels the pain shoot up his arm and when the Akuma pulls it off of his wrist he can feel something tear. He quickly cradles his wrist to his chest. He peeks down at it and sees it bleed with a large gash. He looks up at the staff and sees one, single point edge. A small sharp triangle on the edge and of course that’s what’s hit Chat._

_How didn’t he notice that before?_

_He gets too distracted and almost gets hit again, but tries dodging it. When he tries to dodge he almost gets out of the way, but he can’t move his leg out of the way. Suddenly, he hears a clang and looks up to see Rose holding his staff glaring at the Akuma, livid._

_He quickly pulls his leg and jumps up, while the Akuma’s focus turns to Rose, “Brave little flower.”_

_Chat pales, “Rose no,”_

_He isn’t about to let another person get hurt. He quickly throws himself into the Akuma, wrapping his arms around his waist and rolls them a few feet away. He tries to pin the Akuma down, but the Akuma flips over and grabs Chat’s shoulders and lifts him just enough to smash him into the ground. As Chat’s head collides into the ground, the Akuma’s knees are put on his wrists, effectively pinning him down and Chat yells in pain. All of a sudden the weight is lifted when the Akuma rolls off of him. Chat automatically lifts his bad wrist up to cradle it as he looks up. Yet again, there’s Rose looking angrier holding his staff._

_Didn’t he just get the Akuma away from her?_

_Rose stands up straight and glares down at the Akuma looking fearless, “You hurt my friends.”_

_Chat looks up at her 5’4” frame in surprise. Or well, tries, he can vaguely see the Akuma jump up too quickly for his liking, but the world won’t stop spinning._

_Has he ever seen Rose even aggravated?_

_Can she even defend herself?_

_The Akuma quickly rushes over, but before the arm that has a blaster on it can focus on her or collide with her, Chat isn’t sure which he was trying to do. If the world would stop spinning he could, there’s something wrapping around the arm and yanking back. The Akuma gets pulled over Chat and narrowly misses colliding in with him, again. The Akuma hits the ground and tumbles backwards into something, but Chat isn’t sure what. He’s assuming a wire, or at least hoping a wire because if it’s a wire it means Ladybug has shown up and he really needs her help right now. He tries to stand up, but there’s a sharp pain in his head and he falls back down, groaning. His head hurts, his wrist feels like it’s on fire and he’s pretty sure it’s bleeding. Plus, he feels like he’s going to get sick and the world is still spinning._

_He feels a hand on his face and sees Ladybug staring down concerned, “Marinette.”_

_He murmurs._

_Ladybug freeze and stares at him horrified, “W-what did you just say?”_

_Chat tries to move again, “Marinette, she was hurt. We need to find her. I think, I think she was thrown into the alley? I need to go to her.”_

_Ladybug relaxes after she processes his slurred words and pushes him down, “You need to sit for a minute.”_

_Chat tries to grab onto her wrist, “You don’t understand, I need to get to her!”_

_Ladybug glares, “No, absolutely not. You’re hurt-”_

_She cuts off as she picks up his elbow, “You’re bleeding. Chat, why didn’t you tell me?”_

_Chat tries to focus on her, “Wha? I just did! I just told you!”_

_Ladybug sighs in aggravation and he zones out to whatever she’s saying until he yelps in surprise and looks down. There’s cloth being wrapped around his wrist as he looks down at it confused. After a moment he looks up and somehow manages to stand up and stumbles forward, ignoring the pounding in his head._

_Ladybug sighs and grabs him, “Chat, what are you doing? You need to sit down. I just told you, you’re not going after her. Not in this form!”_

_Chat pulls away and almost falls, “I have to! I don’t need to listen to you anymore!”_

_She grabs him, “Chat, you need to calm down. She’s fine, alright? You’re not going to be able to do anything if your seriously injured and panicking.”_

_Chat shakes his head frantically, “I have to! I don’t want to listen to this anymore!”_

_Ladybug holds him as he sways, “No, you don’t you need-”_

_Chat growls, “I don’t need to listen to you! I dont love you anymore!”_

_Ladybug freezes, “You what?”_

_She shoves away the dark feeling in her stomach, “I-I, Chat this isn’t the time for this conversation. This can wait.”_

_She doesn’t have time to hear this._

_Chat shakes his head, “There’s never time with you! I need to get to her!”_

_Ladybug flinches with guilt at his desperate tone._

_He lowers his voice and whispers, “Her. I love her.”_

_Ladybug sighs. No he doesn’t. He doesn’t even really know her. He’s hurt and doesn’t know what he’s talking about._

_Ladybug runs her fingers through her hair, “Chat, you can either willingly take a few minutes or I will force you too.”_


	7. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette shows Chat a picture

Chat shakes his head and tries to pay attention to Marinette. She’s smiling brightly and talking about a drawing. He smiles watching her talk excitedly. She quickly gets up and grabs a paper to show him the paper of the drawing Nathanael gave her. 

Chat grabs it and smiles, “He’s pretty impressive. He must know you very well to be able to draw you this happy on paper. It almost looks like the real thing.” 

Marinette laughs at him, “Chat, that’s not it. That’s not what’s amazing about it! I smile all the time!” 

Chat rolls his eyes, “I saw the other people. I don’t...I was focused on you.” 

She rolls her eyes, “It’s not just me. It’s a lot of our classmates, our friends. He...it’s great that he drew all of them happy. It is, but it’s the small details in it.” 

She starts going on about little habits people have that Nathanael fit in the drawing and how he notices most little things about his friends. 

Chat smiles at her and she leans her head on his shoulder, “Are you alright? All we’ve done is talk about me. I missed you.” 

Chat sighs, “I’m sorry. I didn’t-I just-I needed time.” 

Marinette shrugs, “I get it. Don’t worry, I really scared you. You’ve...Chat, this job is stressful, I get it if you need time.” 

Chat shakes his head, “I should have thought of you. I hadn’t-I shouldn’t have just ignored you for so long. It wasn’t fair to you. Especially when you needed me.” 

Marinette laughs, “I don’t blame you. I understand. The only one who’s blaming you, is you.”


	8. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter

_Chat was finally moving normally. He tried to get to Marinette, but Ladybug kept blocking him, yelling at him or this akuma kept shooting at them. The problem with this akuma is, he seems to zero in on Chat. He doesn’t like Chat at all and Chat has no idea what he’s done, but he’s more focused and shooting and physically fighting Chat than Ladybug. Chat looks around and doesn’t see ladybug, but he doesn’t notice when the akuma suddenly disappears because he keeps trying to find Marinette. He can hear the scream before he realizes what’s happening. He whips his head over to the noise and freezes. Nathanael is over by the alley and is shoving LAdybug out of the way just as the Akuma’s staff arches down. He can hear Ladybug screaming for Chat, but he doesn’t move. Instead he tried to see Marinette, but he’s still too far away. The blade on the tip of the staff embeds itself deeply into Nathanael’s shoulder. The Akuma yanks down and drags the blade diagonally to what looks like Nathanael’s heart. Nathanael screams in pain and Chat is pretty sure hear Nathanael’s bones being broken as they’re forcibly cut. He hadn’t realized how strong the akuma was until now. Ladybug screams for Chat and he shakes himself out of his stupor just as Ladybug catches Nathanael._


End file.
